Takes My Heart Awayyyyy...

The truth in every single word!
Enjoy!
:)

Blog Whore.

That's the thing about Facebook...
When you have it in your life, your blog doesn't read of your 'lack of life'.
When you have it in your life, you have something to do for infinite hours each time you switch on your laptop.
When you have it in your life, you don't become a blog whore.

I'm scared I'd be blogging every hour of my life if the same persists. At least on the days I'm home.
Like today.

La La La...

What happens when you have a laptop that is all yours and you do not need to share it with anyone?

- You become a Facebook whore!

What happens when you have a laptop that is all yours and you do not need to share it with anyone but you're off Facebook?

- You blog. Many many times, so.

It's just sad. Earlier my 'lack of life' on most days didn't come on the surface as much because the day at home was spent on Facebook. The fact that the Facebook chat sucks and I don't go online there, I really was on it all day for the purposes of voyeurism alone.

 It was through my stalker tendencies that I would think,comment (even if in my head) and feel sadistic satisfaction.

Yes, I am a very lame person.

Now I am a 'full-on-blog-person'- whatever that means! I feel unusually opiniated about most things and out of the lack of having anything else to do, I blog.

Jaya thinks it's cool. What does he know, anyway? Sigh.

You know how the common want of all people you know is great hair? It's true. Everyone wants great hair.

I do too.

I want my hair to look like sex;

not like I-just-had-sex, you know?

YOU *Good English* .You're nice at the things you do. Really Really Nice.

I have no clothes, by the way.

Or shoes.

Or kajal.

Or money.

I am poor.

And bored.

...

ooo.

Reading a blog and not commenting is like winking to a really hot guy in the dark.

It's pointless. The hot guy never feels appreciated. Ya. So.

^^ I read a version of this somewhere and made a mental note to put it here. :P

Also, I have never really understood the phenomena of winking, really. There could be so many possible interpretations to it.

The world and its ways.

...

P.S- Not.Blogging.Tomorrow.For.Sure.

       Must.Study.To.Clear.University.Examinations.

Hi5

HahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahaha

Ya.
We were (still are?:O) a bunch of wannabes!

The days when we captioned pictures of ourselves with "moi".
The days when we wrote 'testimonials/profile comments' for each other as though we were marketting each other.
The days when 'no. of profile visits' was the trump card.
The days when albums about every little moment (including a sneeze!) weren't put up.
The days when this and so much more happened.
The days when we were active members of the good old 'Hi5'.

What happens when you pledge to deactivate your Facebook account?
You dig up some old graves and sign in your Hi5 account.
What do you find?
A bunch of lame lame LAME losers who seem to have been using your and your friends' names for some Hi5 accounts! Seriously!
That couldn't be us, for real! Could it? No. They were/are different people. They've got to be.

The ugliness of the pictures back in the day doesn't even begin to crack me up. We were so damn ugly. Each one of us.
Thank the Universe we have grown out of it- looking like that, for starters. Phew!

From the 'About me' to the 'Favourite books/music/movies' la la la it was all multiple levels of wannabe-ness. It is surreal, that page!

Brought back some memories; some nice and fun, some not so.

Amidst all the lameness, one thing that particularly stood out for me:

Back in the day, I was with this guy named Angad. Some good times with him.
Anyway,

Picture of Angad with two of his female friends doing the whole patent Charlie's angels pose on his either side. You know? Back facing back Making guns with your hand.
Caption : "Hii!!My Name Is Charlie...Wud U B My Angel...hehe jst playinn!!"
.
.
My comment below the picture: "im ur angel 4eva...wud u b my charlie? lol.. u luk ammzin!"

Yes. I laughed too.
A lot.
Clearly the '4eva' didn't remain...

Facebook! Come back! I am so much cooler with you. Or so I would like to believe. Sigh.
Wait till I look back at you and blame you for my quirks.

Next up? Orkut, maybe.

Existing.

So this 'being off Facebook' thing isn't going down with me as well as I thought it would.
Nevertheless, I am fighting all my natural urges to activate my account and doing other things to occupy all the time in the world that I am suddenly exposed to minus Facebook.
Yes. All claims of Facebook having taken over our lives are, in fact, true.
It is very very VERY hard to resist this particular 'global disease'.

They ask me why I am so addicted.
I don't have any answer that doesn't reduce me to sounding like yet another attention seeking wannabe emo person. I wouldn't have had qualms about this perception if only it was true. It isn't attention seeking at all.

It's a weird feeling; waking up to an empty house.
It's a weird feeling; not having someone giving you breakfast.
It's a weird feeling; when the first thing you do in the morning is to be by yourself.
It's a weird feeling; when it's too early to call anyone on their phone.
It's a weird feeling; waking up to an empty house.

So then there's Facebook. The world never seems to sleep there. There's people galore at all times of the day. People who share statuses, messages, pictures, notes...a slice of their lives with you at that hour of the day when you really think you got no one else.
And they ask me why I am so addicted...

Facebook! I miss you, lover.

*Sky*

I don't have as many friends! I don't! Maybe slightly more in number than what YOU do, but that's not a lot. Regardless, I know who my friends and that makes me quite content with my life. I am a 'social' person; whatever that means, but that's that. I do not see why I must be apologetic about it. This has been a point of concern of not only YOU but also of most of my friends. I fail to understand how it's a fault.

Last night YOU chose to make an appearance in my life after over two months now, only to scream at me for no apparent reason. I can't believe I took it, it's very unlike me. So I'm not pissed that you assumed this authority over me that you really don't possess, but I'm pissed that I was bothered even though I can't place you in anything else but a big bubble of in-consequentiality.

'You have too many friends and that makes you a cunning person; you are cold-hearted; you don't respect me or my love for you; you are not a real person but a projection that people seem to like'- these seemed to be the general areas of your anger/frustration.
Your explanation to having taken so much time in saying such beautiful things to me was that you were intimidated and were gathering courage to say it to my face! Really now. I am not that cool! Maybe intimidating is one of my 'things', strangely so.

I need constant validation from people and approval from the people who matter. The fact that I end up doing exactly what I want in the end is a different story, but I am very anxious about some opinions.
Does that make me a bad person? I don't know.
Does that make me emotionally unavailable and disrespectful of love? I don't think so.
I don't know where the fault lies, really. I don't want to waste any time of my life finding out.

Facebook has always been very important to me. As lame as it may sound, it's true. There's no helping that and there's no explainable logic to it. I am addicted and it's just as hard to quit as smoking is.
After a very long time, I did something to prove a point to someone else but me; I am off Facebook.

I can see how most people will not/do not think of it as a big step but for me it is. It is huge and extremely life defining. Hell, I had to smoke slightly more than the usual the second I deactivated my account. :P Habbits are hard to kick, especially the bad ones.

Will I be lying if I said that YOUR call had nothing to do with it?
Yes.
Will I be lying if I said that YOUR call was the only reason to do it?
Yes.
Will I be lying if I said that I don't miss Facebook already?
YES!

Maybe it is time for a change.
Maybe it is time to give up one of the addictions.
Maybe one day I will give up smoking.
Maybe one day I will give up thinking about him.
Maybe one day I will hug my dad like I mean it.
Maybe one day sex will become more than just sex, again.
Maybe one day I will give up my phone too.
Maybe one day the world will be okay about me having more then one person I like to call my best friend.

It's true;
I have many friends.
I have the friends I want and there's no changing that.
Not yet, anyway.