Growing up, I took most of these people to be nothing more than a bunch of slightly ignored people who slip up and cut near-wrist-areas(mostly) only in their pursuit to gain a little bit of attention every once in a while. We've all been there, it's true. We've all had our 'omg-my-life-sucks-and-pain-is-my-only-company' phase. I know I have had mine. But cutting causes pain- a hell lot of it, at that. Would anyone do it only for attention? I think not.
I was talking to my friend about it. He thought it was very funny;
"'she' doesnt care about 'my' felings, therefore i -will take a blade and very cleverly NOT slit my wrists but see blood and feel 'satisfied'-it's funny!"
Is it, really?
For some it may be a gimmick, agreed. But for most it is a medical condition.
They don't cleverly 'not slit' the wrists. The idea is not to die, it's not. It's to feel pain. Almost fatal pain.
It is less scary, more creepy, I think.
What is creepier is that I know people who are/were into it.
A lot of things hurt.
Hurt like hell.
Hurt like fuck!
It pains when things don't work out the way you want.
Doesn't cutting cause more pain, though?
Is the release of the pain through cutting worth it?
Is self destruction the way to go?
I don't judge, I don't,
I get scared though.
Very very very much so.
The idea is never to die, that's too fast too soon, and well.. too pointless. The idea is to feel so much pain that all you can do is concentrate all your energies on the sliver of red and its literally when time stands still, makes everything else less important. Atleast it was for me. Makes the mad circus called life a hell lot easier..
ReplyDeleteI am glad I'm past it though. But my scars remain more beautiful than my tattoos :)
Easier, eh?
ReplyDeleteDoes it, really? I don't know.
Who're you, again? :)
it is a release of sorts.
ReplyDeleteyou concentrate so much on cutting yourself that you think little of other things and when its done you cry and the pain subsides, temporarily.
a healthier alternative is to have someone who can listen to you. just listen.
I have people/things who listen.
ReplyDeleteI hope more and more people find theirs.
Actually, and I don't know for how many this may be true, the problem was never lack of people who would listen. I always had loads of people who would do that for me. But I still felt alone in a crowd. The point was that the superwoman I was for them, I never felt like telling them that there is something amiss. Or that that guy actually did break my heart. Or that it matters to me when friends act like retards. Sigh. The works.
ReplyDeleteThen music happened. Serious music happened. And to this day, my guitar remains my lifeline to a saner version of life. :) So I hope people find their calling, their rock, or whatever fancy word you want to call it by.
Let's call it Bob? :) I hope people find their Bob.
ReplyDelete"The point was that the superwoman I was for them, I never felt like telling them that there is something amiss. Or that that guy actually did break my heart. Or that it matters to me when friends act like retards. Sigh. The works."- Totally empathize!
Bob sounds great! :)
ReplyDelete