Saturday, September 25, 2010

"...You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, you know, holding claws like..." - Phoebe Buffay

"psst.. Do you know the answer?'
"no!!"
That was the one of the weirdest expressions I have ever seen in my life.
Why would one classmate not help the other classmate pass a test, when infact, she knew the answer?
Just because we are not friends, I thought.
Freak, I thought.
Who is she, anyway? I thought.

We lived in denial of each other's presence for most part of our ninth grade. It didn't matter. We didn't know each other. There was an unsaid divide between non-sluts and sluts... between You and I.

"Hello?*you*?"
"hey.."
"hi.. whats up? How are things at home? Peaceful?"
"yea yea. Almost. Nothing great happened. It was over by yesterday. What about you?"
"I got grounded. But working parents, so doesn't really count! I called the others. They're fucked!"
"yea? Oi. Let me call you back? I have free calling!"
"Oh. Cool."
Ah. The suspension!
So we spoke for two hours, I think?
Remember how you cried like a kid the day we got suspended? They did go on to reaffirm my belief about your rightfully deserved nerd status. Not that it has changed much.
I don't remember what we spoke about. But I do remember it lasted damn long!

Rest, as they say, is history.

Really? It can't be THAT simple!

So there we were. Two people. One, with lots of problems (Read:you). Nah. I had my fair share of issues too. Loads, at that. So, somehow, somewhere, we just sort of fit. As different as chalk and cheese, we walked together hand in hand and made it work. Yes. There was a lot of walking. God knows there was!
"what? I can't cross this!"
"you WILL! it is easy.."
That fucked up wall we had to cross to reach D's house and I swore with all my heart that there is no way in hell that I was going to, primarily because I couldn't. I hated walking. Still do. But you made me walk some five thousand kms from school only to tell me that I had to leap over a wall?? No fucking way! I was certain.
But eventually, I did. Overcame that tiny obstacle course. Then was then, This is now. We have crossed all ways together.

That time when you were convinced that you are incapable of any luck with the opposite sex and how I knew the myth that was and would tell you so.
How I knew all these guys and would gross you out with the gory details of my escapades. Ha Ha.
I still do.

In school.
You were such a creep about your stupid food and would hide and eat it. You would hide it so that none of us would be able to eat. Clearly, 'sharing' was not your favourite school lesson.
I always knew you were weird.
I never knew you would be so important to me.

I like you. A lot.
My one million and one ambitions I decide to achieve, you listen to them. I think that is because you made me buy my first sanitary napkin, FOR YOU! That evening still gives me the creeps.
Our conversations about the world and the things and people in it. Very meanly, so.
How I intimidate you for no rhyme or reason.
How I am turning bi-sexual.
How saving for your birthday was very hard.
How your case will always be taken by yours truly. ONLY by yours truly, No one else.
How you are my only friend I want to hug all the time.
How one day you will know that amidst all my fifty lakh friends, you do enjoy a slightly higher pedestal.
How I'll take you to Big Chill the day you are okay with me having fifty lakh friends.
How we eat and get fat and you crib about getting fat and I listen.
How I listen.
How I am sexually fucked up and you get it. You pretend you do. You listen.
How you listen.
"*you*?"
"yes?"
"I farted just now! hahaha"
"I don't want to know"
"er.. Notice how I just told you hence NOW YOU KNOW! ok bye"
How you text ten years later after one of these occurrences to tell me how I am always mean to you and you get hurt.
How I fight with you then because I am so pissed at you for not telling me there and then.
How you are so ugly! No, No cover up there, You need your best friend to tell you this. Really.
How it sucks that we'll drift apart eventually. I know we will. And my entire life you'll take away with you.. Maybe tell other people too. But that does not bother me. The fact that you know the 'story of my life' suffices.

I will call you when we're 85 years old.
You will obviously sound like a man then...err..let's rephrase. You will sound manlier then. I will be the epitome of the 'mature' single women your horny son would be having wet dreams about.
And I would still hold you like I do now.
And I would still like you like I do now.. barring the days I want to kill you. But I want to do a lot of things randomly so I don't think it counts.

Remember how we had a plan.
A plan that painted us both in Hansraj. Economics and English. You and I.
The never ending quest of wanting to hold on. Forever.
Clearly, none of us got through.
But here we are.
Still as lobster-like.
Still walking around our tank holding each other's claws.
Never letting go. Not yet, anyway!

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