Friday, February 25, 2011

Yawning Mornings

There comes a point in each individual's life when he's faced with the reality of being a loser. My point has arrived. No, seriously! What is up with my generation of the world who suddenly knows it all in terms of what they want in life? And here I am, part of the very same generation, as clueless as clueless gets. College gets over in another year and then what? Exactly. No Idea.
The fact that I'm suffering from a very very very bad cold right now isn't particularly helping things.

So I don't know jack shit about any of my current books, I have no cool internship on my CV, no real job experience to boast about and no motivation for any of this. For the most part of my life, I have pictured myself very rich. Filthy rich, is more like it. But now, by the look of things, I would be fortunate if I am able to get together a meal a day without complete failure. Yes, things are that scattered. I am barely twenty years old and to feel/think like this isn't my favourite activity to do.

Speaking of activities, I'm getting back (started) to.. *drum-roll*... writing my book. Yes, it's happened! Yes, I would like more attention/ drama surrounding the announcement. But who am I kidding? It's just a damn blog that no one reads and knowing me, I'm going to get over the idea of writing ze book sooner than I start it. Yes, I have attention issues, like that. So no one cares, which is good. 'Expectations' is just as scary a word as 'Forever'. My point being, that more than who-does-what and who-gets-what, the alarming concern should be that who-wants-what because let's face it there are so many of us and all of us want the exact same thing and that's just so mother fucking depressing! Obviously it is that who is not excellent who is going to lose ground the soonest. Being average is a bitch!

Cell phones and Facebook are annoying me . It makes me want to throw up a little in my mouth when I look back only to see these to as being one of the major reasons for my existence.

Ooo.. So you have love-hate-sex relationship, you have spent hours dressing up just right for him but also pretending like you put on the first thing you saw, you have avoided him, 'apparently' bumped into him. wrote about him, sneaked out with him, partied with him... and so much more. So fucking much more! You know just as much as he does that you are not exclusive anymore. 
But is it completely unreasonable for you to think it's weird when he comes and cries over his 'girlfriend' to you and expects a shoulder to cry on couched in beautiful sounding advice?
I don't know. I think it's weird.

Also, Im serious about being an alcoholic.