Monday, March 21, 2011

One life to live

I hate keeping in touch.
It just doesn't come naturally to me. I am not someone who's socially awkward and it's not like I don't enjoy new company. I am (famously :P) called 'the social butterfly' by my people. However, keeping-in-touch with all sorts of people just isn't my thing.

What I hate even more?
When random people out of nowhere accuse me of not having kept in touch with them. Helloooo? If you were worthy of an iota of importance, I would have done the needful. The fact that I didn't, should be enough hint.

I don't have particular fondness for most people, anyway; and that doesn't always help.
Is it just me or is it slightly alarming how I hate so many things?

You know how you're different people to different people? Some people find you funny while the others think you don't talk as much; how you annoy some people and then there are those who adore you; you're the jumpy freak for some and the ever so mature lady to others....
I have different personalities for different people. Of late, that's been disturbing me. I want to be Love, Pain, Anger, Wrath, Bliss... I want to be what I embody; My emotions. My spirits.
I want to be me.
Only me and no one else but me.

Talk about utopia. Sigh.

Bob calls me 'wave'.
"You're a wave."
"Errr.. Like... I have my highs and lows?"
"Possibly, that too."
"And that you're always moving to be different. When you're at point A, you think you want to be the person at point B instead. Only, when you reach B, it bores you and you strive for C, you know?"
I smiled.
Didn't nod.

There's no feeling more beautiful than oblivion.
Especially, if it's with respect to self.