Tuesday, February 28, 2012

#InOtherNews

In other news, I have a Twitter Account now which I absolutely don't know how to work. Any help regarding it would be appreciated. Especially, if someone could tell me the objective of the damn venture.

As cocky as it sounds, follow me :)
Even if it is only to tell me, what the fuck is up on it.
#Clueless.

^Seee! Im learning.

Takes My Heart Awayyyyy...



The truth in every single word!
Enjoy!
:)

Blog Whore.

That's the thing about Facebook...
When you have it in your life, your blog doesn't read of your 'lack of life'.
When you have it in your life, you have something to do for infinite hours each time you switch on your laptop.
When you have it in your life, you don't become a blog whore.

I'm scared I'd be blogging every hour of my life if the same persists. At least on the days I'm home.
Like today.

Friday, February 24, 2012

It's Such Great February Weather...

So it just struck me...

That maybe I should trick an old man into marrying me.
A rich old man.
And then live with him in his mansion till he dies.
And even after that, continue to live there. Without him.

So it just struck me...

That all of us would drift apart in our respective worlds eventually.
And even though we talk of marriage as a catastrophe now,
most of us would end up giving in to familial/societal pressures.
And not with old men with infertile dicks and huge apartments.
But with nice men... who'd get us. Our dreams and aspirations.
And would laugh with us.
And would satisfy us in bed. But not think about sex all the fucking time.
And would  know how to articulate in impeccable English.
The kind of men Tee and I talk about all the time!
Maybe they don't exist.
And then, for some strange reason, Goa came to my mind.

So it just struck me...

That all men hit on you in Goa. Even cab drivers or men from Philippines.
That was someee night. Makes me laugh even now.
But I can't live in Goa. You know? Sustained living. But it's my favourite getaway.
Drink at any point of the day without being judged.
Chill with the girls under the stars laughing till your insides hurt.
Celebrate your freedom in every sense of the word.

Where else is the air this much fun? It takes you in.
Each day is like the big blue sky there. Yup. The day is like the sky.
Infinite. Sublime.
There's the burning sea water. And it melts you.
It melts you and your ever so profound teen spirit everyone seems to talk about!
And you're always in a mood.
To do something.

Anything you're not supposed to.

It just struck me...

Delhi is getting monotonous.
So is growing up, if you ask me.
If it wasn't for such great February weather...

Monday, February 20, 2012

!@#$%^&*

It's almost midnight and I sit in a very very dirty room wearing, what I call 'the first signs of winters ending', borrowed boxers and t-shirt. It's also a reminder of a long overdue leg-waxing appointment. But that's another story.

I write this not to make a point but to kill time. When you are five days into having deactivated your Facebook account, you realize that Facebook takes away a lot of your time, yes. However, the bigger realization is that you probably didn't need as much time in the first place. Especially, if you're like me. 
Ive never really been into Superheroes, per se. But they have this kind of novelty, you know? So it's always great to think that you're like some Superhero too; at least at some points in your life. And then life happens and reality strikes and you realize that you're no Superhero; just plain old Garfield.
And I'm Garfield.
And hence I don't need all this time off Facebook. I just want to eat and sleep.
And drink and smoke and dance and have sex.
But Garfield sex, you know?

I just have one problem with Facebook - The stalker-hood it is! I go out, I sneeze, I come back home and log in- there's a picture of me sneezing on my profile! Ugh. It was consuming my entire life! And telling me I know way too many people or have one dress too less or repetitive makeup or Bah! I don't know. It's frustrating. And over 2500 pictures of you tagged by other people just does it.

So ya. I'm off. 
Not for good, though. It's just a little break.

It's like an ex flame you can't ever get rid of for too long. Im just saying.

I can't believe how much I've typed already. And most of it doesn't even make sense. Like, it makes sense to me because I've written it. Completely original ideas. Wow! I think I got this smart dating. I think you should date people wayyyyyy out of your league. Preferably older. And then let them teach you a thing or two. And then you break up. Because they're out of your league, remember? But not a messy break up. Then you move on. Don't worry about dying along. Because, believe it or not, you are never fucking alone! EVER. Even when you might want to be.
I think I write better on my laptop than on paper. Haha. Imagine! This is my better. I'm no writer. I thought I was a while ago. But then I realized I write just like I talk. And then sometimes I write giving away more than what I may have desired. That's not really a sign of a great writer, now is it?
See! All this time at hand! So much to do! But I would much rather Garfield around and blog about absolutely nothing!

Speaking of blogging about absolutely nothing, my blog turned two on the 13th of this month. Haha. Two years of my unpremeditated blabber about 'sex, parties, alcohol and friends'. 

"Girls your age talk about love and feelings"
"I talk about love. I love sex, parties, alcohol and my friends!!"

And of course I couldn't care less. And I forgot all about it until yesterday. Because I know I'm not a writer no more. The bigger question, however, is that if I ever was?

Now I'm bored and I'm out of smokes.
I miss my brother.

Goodnight.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

...

It's that feeling you can't describe. No matter how much you try to.

You'd always be the one that got away.
Who kept all my miseries at bay.
The above statement is easily a lie now.
Cause miserable you made me and how.
But stuff like that doesn't stay with you, you know?
And what a tragedy that is.

I remember only the happy, I do.
And yes, sometimes now and then, I even miss you.
But I don't think I love you no more.
And no, it's not like my heart is still sore.
But was that not, after all, love?
And what a tragedy that is.

Back when I was young and you were stupid.
When we were awe struck by the magic of cupid.
We didn't realize how magic isn't real.
Ah well.. that's never been a big deal.
But isn't the best time still just us?
And what a tragedy that is.

I've always wanted to get a tattoo of someone's face.
Maybe I should get you? Or us? Us behind that dingy staircase?
Bah. I'm just typing out shit now that apparently rhymes.
Times. Crimes. Dimes. Chimes.
But you and I will end eventually, wont we?
And what a tragedy that is.

We did it everywhere we could have.
We never did anything we should have.
Now we only meet in your car or at parties and dance the night away.
You still are all magic with the most perfect things to say.
But we are probably over for good after last night, don't you think?
And what a tragedy that is.

It's that feeling you can't describe. No matter how much you try to.



Ring. Red Nails. Rum. Dancing. You. <3





Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Laughing and Liking.

For someone who is apparently 'incapable of emotion', I am feeling way too many things at the moment. And they're running all through the damn body. Perhaps even through the heart.
It's pumping.
Anyway, love is too strong a word an emotion. So strong that I can't/don't feel it enough, apparently. But that's when 'liking' is rather purposeful. It's simpler, for starters. Maybe even slightly innocent. Not that love is not innocent.

Oh no wait. It's not.

But here's the thing about liking someone. When do you go from 'i like him' to 'i like him-like him'? It's different, right? There should be rules for stuff like this. I always thought so. And the transition is ever so sneaky and fragile that there are times when you yourself aren't quite sure of having crossed over the delicate threshold. So there are the usual butterflies in your stomach. But then one fine day, your heart starts pounding. In your mouth. 
But the butterflies is 'liking' enough. 
No?
Does it make the liking less serious or more futile in anyway? Well, it shouldn't.
You still 'like him'. Just probably don't 'like him like him'
It's like laughing at a joke. A joke that's not that funny. You know? The little tiny jokes that make you laugh. Which are more smart than funny.
The jokes that make you 'laugh'; not 'laugh laugh'.
Laughing is good.

And then before you know it, you're laughing with wayyyyyy too many people.
Way Fuckin' Too Many.
All At Once.


Monday, February 13, 2012

Sky.

"In this entire time since uve ignored me.. There have been fleeting thoughts.. But back then I thought someone like me would appeal to a person with a life as big urs. . I'm a simple person, remember?  
I travel ..
I actually thought...
It was all so stupid of me."

Sigh.
Happy Valentines, Y'all.




Fuck Valentines! Let's Get Drunk And Naked.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Dear Bob,

Because I promised you a happy post and one that I hope you'd comprehend better than most, here goes...

April is exactly two months away. Two months is a long long time. And knowing you, you'd probably fall in and out of love with me over 800 times in the course of these two months. But two months it is. Unless of course you stop being such a miser and take an earlier flight back. 
Or worse, you decide to not come back at all.
But that's another story.

But this isn't so much about your coming back (Weeeeee:D) as it is about me missing you. And of course, I keep telling you that over and over and then another time after that. But that's just because of my irrational fear of you getting over me. It probably goes back to the time when you'd crumble my tiny little 18 year old heart into pieces of ash on a regular basis. 
Oh! Has it been that long?
Apparently.
A questionably large mix of Chivas and Teachers later, i get down to write this. Because I told you I would yesterday. Yesterday; when I forbade you to hate me. And you said I can't. Like, you forbade me to forbid you. It's pretty damn funny if I think of it now. 
It wasn't last night.

But I'm not buzzed just yet. And what a shame that is. But it's this alcohol, in inappropriate amounts no less, that gets me closest to any forms of happiness I've known in recent times. And then there's you. 
You, who I just can't figure out.

But I mkiss you.
I remember you. The way you  cocked your little head to one side and did that thing you do with your fingers(knuckles?) to my head. So affectionate! So originalllll!!
And then of course, I saw you do it to someone else too. But that hardly mattered. You did it to me too. And that was enough, I thought.
Not really. Not enough. But it made me happy.
And then began days and nights of my stalking you. Mentally more.
I would 'plan' for hours together and think of how I would jaaaasstt pounce on you and probably bite your elbow off. Or your cheeks? Either/or really. Or grab you and hug you for one eternity too many. Ooo ooo.. and when we saw that Padukone draaaaaggg of a movie with your fingers in my mouth. That wasn't planned. I was just really really bored.

Too much is coming back to me now.
And I cannot believe it can be this harsd to just switch and be gay for life. Because, I want to spend my entire life with youuuuuuu. It will be magical. 

But that's hardly important. What is important is that you're getting back. And I demand of and command you to take me out like old times. Eat crappy pizzas with me and make yours better by ketchup-ing the fuck out of it. And then talk in your car and talk for 34567876 hours as my neighbourhood judges us girls smoking. 
Oh! And I think ive told you about how Ive wanted to kiss you too? Just the one time though.
But what do you know?? I have a fair share of girl stories to tell you when you come back this time. hahaha.


And it just struck me that the magic isn't that important as of n ow,I guess.
We can just laugh for now instead.



Love and Lust,
Yours truly,
Me :)



From Drafts

I sometimes miss being in unrequited love to text them to overthink their text to romanticize every moment to actually dream about them...