Sunday, April 24, 2011

Need A Prayer?

Someone once told me that my life's greatest tragedy would be each time I am elated beyond belief, but being an atheist, I would have no one to thank.
Bullcrap, I said!
However, it is close to a great tragedy when in all helplessness you seek a prayer but you don't believe in it enough for it to come true.

All my life I have counted on the Universe, if anything, to make things right for me; never a 'god'. We have way too many to choose from, anyway. It's the complexities that make it petty, I think.

The sought prayer is for someone I would kill to forget forever, but won't be able to.
It's a little strange how Facebook has become the link between lives; even those lives that were tangled together, to say the least, only a while back.
"Get well soon"; "Prayers for your speedy recovery"; "Heyy! Snap outta it, bro! We got partying to do! Get better now!!"....
I wasn't worried a tiny bit. I was trying not to be.

It sucks when you call him and his mother answers.
It sucks when the mother has always been fond of you and hence thinks it's okay to cry to you.
It sucks when she says, "Don't you know, Beta? It happened on the 15th..."
No! I don't know! How am I supposed to? We don't talk every hour of every day, anymore!
It sucks when you realize that you hardly have any common threads who'd have informed you any earlier.
It sucks when she tells you that he got hit by a car and it looks bad.
It sucks when you have this little voice inside of you telling you that he may have done this on purpose.

Whatever times I had met him in the last three month, he had been stressing over the girlfriend. Yes, even to the extent of wanting to kill himself.
If I know him at all, I know he's capable.

This is not the best early-morning-news I could have got.
I sit here, with my lack of faith firmly shaken, seeking a prayer.
The 'god' hasn't ever really listened to anything I have had to say... 
So ya. That sucks too.

Get Well Soon, You :'(
Live.