Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Barely Breathing.

Okay. So I've been eating a lot, anyway. But for whatever's it's worth, I haven't been having as much junk as I did until last week so that's got to be a good thing! Also, exercise and lots of dancing is on; so that should be a little helpful too, if nothing else.
The Great Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes) said once, "Realities continue to ruin my life"- I couldn't agree more at this point and time.

To start with, it is December. I love winters and December is my particularly favourite month too. However, December with all it's madness, partying, laziness and the works is soon followed by the dreaded January- the month of the College Home Exams.

When you're in Delhi University and your attendance and other assignment submission records aren't exactly something to flaunt, the least you can do is clear all the internals with a slight tinge of respectability(to ask for anything more is going to be rather far fetched). The fact that after my 12th board exams, the course I opted for was that of English Honours Programme in DU isn't comforting at all. How am I ever going to do anything in life if I can't manage the pressure and stress that comes along in the journey to becoming a Graduate, alone? So much for wanting to be a responsible adult with a focus in life and rocking it while she's at it. Here's the deal : English isn't Math. Apart from Math being completely unnecessary and boring, it is also objective. English, on the other hand, is about points of view, critical analysis, awareness. So while 2+2=4 and nothing else but that;  while reading a book I need to know about not only the book, but the author and his life and the friends he had and the affairs he enjoyed and the history of the time and the political power play of the era... bah!- Subtext to the whole thing : I am screwed.

Today : 1st December.
Date of first exam : 3rd January.
Days left: 33
Books to read: 16
Mental status: ..........

So new challenge for the month apart from the quest to lose the paunch is, obviously, studying! Studying like mad! It's at times like this when one realizes that it's not like this is difficult but impossible. My biggest need at this present second is for someone to tell me the fuck from where I begin!!! The world would be so much easier without technology- Yes Yes! I am talking to you, Facebook, Blogger, YouTube, TV and Cellphone!!! You don't let me study. Also, the splash of social life that I seem to be living with is almost like a necessary evil.
Breathing is getting problematic. For real.