Thursday, May 26, 2011

Leaving On Jetplanes.


Here's the deal : Since the age of fourteen, each time I have liked someone enough to picture a happy future with him, complete with the cushions I want to buy for Our house, the person leaves. And no, I am not talking about a sad break up. Just magically (and tragically, believe you me!) the guy's geographical location would change. It's true! 
It started with Ryan, whom I lost to cancer. (RIP, you.)
Growing up with an Army circle had its flip side; the guy's Dad got posted out of Delhi.
This one time the guy's family had to move to Malaysia because the family without a father had suffered severe business losses.
And then when a certain 'he' was sent to a hostel in Chandigarh because he was caught by the father with a few traces of some innocent hash on him. 
Finally, my mother-of-all-complicated-relationships-in-the-universe guy had to move to the US for more than just a couple of months, when I was certain that he was the one I wanted to make some babies with.

I stopped falling in 'love' after that, for some reason.
Love or whatever the hell kids call it these days. 
I realized that maybe it's jinxed. It's the Universe's way of mocking my looking down upon the breed of 'long distance' relationships. It's true. I don't understand how talking on the phone and now Skype qualifies you to call what you have, a real relationship. I'm not questioning the love both parties may have for each other or the commitment. But I just don't buy the 'in a relationship' tag that they might choose to endorse even with their grand emotional turmoils.
Point being, I didn't do the whole love charade anymore. I did do all sorts of 'love things' though. With all sorts of 'lovely people'... just never with as much involvement, I guess.

Then last year came this blow of my confusion and subsequent dealings with my potential bisexuality; which ended very Very badly, might I add. I am still an all out supporter for one's sexual rights and choices. Only, some experimentations, like mine, don't end up like one might have played them out in one's head. 
Funny story, though. That, for some other day.
Anyway, during that 'phase' (?), I fed this obsession for this girl. This girl I love. 
As platonic as it is and as away from my cushion-buying vision as it is,
it's still love.
And hence, no points for guessing, she's leaving next month. For Bombay...

......................................................................................................................

So anyone out there who might be having any visa issues or some such, come!
Come and make me fall for you.
And before you know it, you'd have left for another land.