Thursday, May 26, 2011

Leaving On Jetplanes.

Here's the deal : Since the age of fourteen, each time I have liked someone enough to picture a happy future with him, complete with the cushions I want to buy for Our house, the person leaves. And no, I am not talking about a sad break up. Just magically (and tragically, believe you me!) the guy's geographical location would change. It's true! 
It started with Ryan, whom I lost to cancer. (RIP, you.)
Growing up with an Army circle had its flip side; the guy's Dad got posted out of Delhi.
This one time the guy's family had to move to Malaysia because the family without a father had suffered severe business losses.
And then when a certain 'he' was sent to a hostel in Chandigarh because he was caught by the father with a few traces of some innocent hash on him. 
Finally, my mother-of-all-complicated-relationships-in-the-universe guy had to move to the US for more than just a couple of months, when I was certain that he was the one I wanted to make some babies with.

I stopped falling in 'love' after that, for some reason.
Love or whatever the hell kids call it these days. 
I realized that maybe it's jinxed. It's the Universe's way of mocking my looking down upon the breed of 'long distance' relationships. It's true. I don't understand how talking on the phone and now Skype qualifies you to call what you have, a real relationship. I'm not questioning the love both parties may have for each other or the commitment. But I just don't buy the 'in a relationship' tag that they might choose to endorse even with their grand emotional turmoils.
Point being, I didn't do the whole love charade anymore. I did do all sorts of 'love things' though. With all sorts of 'lovely people'... just never with as much involvement, I guess.

Then last year came this blow of my confusion and subsequent dealings with my potential bisexuality; which ended very Very badly, might I add. I am still an all out supporter for one's sexual rights and choices. Only, some experimentations, like mine, don't end up like one might have played them out in one's head. 
Funny story, though. That, for some other day.
Anyway, during that 'phase' (?), I fed this obsession for this girl. This girl I love. 
As platonic as it is and as away from my cushion-buying vision as it is,
it's still love.
And hence, no points for guessing, she's leaving next month. For Bombay...


So anyone out there who might be having any visa issues or some such, come!
Come and make me fall for you.
And before you know it, you'd have left for another land.


  1. ur post-
    this guy somehow disappears just before i could gather enough courage to say "hey, m here!"
    and returns with a more stable gf, i would have ever been, and there i patiently wait for his ever-so-stable gf, to break,....that ain't gonna hence i have moved,.....i hate facebook, for giving me too information i shouldn't need for a stable mind....
    ur last line
    this reminds me of good luck chuck

  2. THAT'S THE NAME OF THE MOVIEEEE!! I was going mad telling my best friend about this and I just couldnt remember the name! Thanks :)
    And your case scenario? I Totally Empathize!

  3. ^ I do the same too.

    And happens the same too wuth me. It's like the Universe is conspiring against me. No really :|

    Take care, you.

  4. Long distance relationships makes me sad.
    Hope you find someone who'd stay.

  5. don't give up.. you aren't even 20 yet! he'll come around soon enough and stay! :*

  6. Just chuck it yaar, I swear, I've given myself all kinds of happy optimistic talks, but the feeling that "this is never happening, you dream love life" has started settling in. *sigh*
    screw you cupid and all your missed bows too. :D
    (I sound drunk,must sleep now)

  7. You know how you look down upon those long distance types? And then they end up being happier than you'll ever be?
    Yeah. I hate that.

  8. The title makes me miss John Denver even more. :'(

    Well,it's when you actually give up and try to think that nothing's going to happen that something actually DOES happen.True story. :)

  9. ^ Totally agree with BzapBunny.

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  11. @I don't understand how talking on the phone and now Skype qualifies you to call what you have, a real relationship.

    Me neither.And the worst thing is that i have been judged as a quitter when i called it off coz of the distance.And you get this issue-less break up to deal with and a relationship with frayed ends(may be we'll meet sometime in future)..but all you can really do is move along..find something new..and hope that it is such blah blah.

  12. @hopelessly flawed - ANYONE in a long distance can NEVER be a quitter! Ever. There's some serious shit to put up with there.

    @BlueRoses- :)

    @BZapBunny- Im sorry, but isn't your name a tad it funny? Haha.

    @Isha- Happy Long Distance? Because they don't have a real relationship? Yeah.

    @Strawberry- :D Chill woman! It's not that big a deal.

    @Blossom- HEY! I turn 20 this year! Also, I need to be on track for my '20 people' benchmark :P Heehee
    Also, what if it's a she? Im not completely ruling that out.

    @Ananya- Hoping the same :)

  13. Ofcourse it is,love it for the very reason.^^

  14. funny ending :D
    i think you'd get someone.
    just hang in there.