Issues.

"Why won't you just dance at the show, man?"

"Bleh.."

"You're so good. You come for all practices. You know the entire routine. Why won't you?"

"I don't know.. I come because I want to these days and it's fun. But what if one day I don't feeel like coming for practice?"

"What if you do?"

"I might. But I might not too, right?"

"Your commitment issues are more serious than I thought"

"..."

It's funny when life presents you with relevant metaphors sneakily.

Popsicle :*.

"There is this Swift by my car.
A girl in the front seat- her leg is up on the dashboard, her seat is peechhe and she's smoking...

You sure you aren't in Delhi?"

:')

Nerd.

"I think ... after some thought, this one is apt for you. you need not change your cover. just know that this is something I think fits you. like totally ...

well, on the surface, this picture when I made it in paint was just a random creation but when I thought about it, it is you. you are the babe, the diva everyone loves to be around. yet, if one observes carefully there is a lot of blue in the picture. blue i.e. sadness. now you can deny it all you want but somewhere you try very hard to cover your depth as a human being.

its almost compulsive in a way "

The Secret.

"Just sit here with me, by my side. You don't have to say nothing, just smile."


Maybe I will.

Romance.

"There's nothing romantic about the romantics"

Get-Over-Yourself Guy.

" PPS: I must mention in passing. My days here have been enlivened with the spirited presence of Priyam who for all practical purposes is the Coolest person in class. She drips awesome and yes I will miss her when she goes to that wannabe heaven they call Xaviers(please start playing time of your life by green day). Also I will sorely miss someone reminding me that I need to get over myself and also wondering whether I have friends. You and your Joie de vivre will be missed WOMAN! Now you have maximum coverage in this short note. Happy?"

Even the annoying ones make me smile sometimes.

Lots!

Qba. Q-bad?

"Q is Qomplicated only!"

"K is Komplicated too!"

Vam Bam.

"You wanna get drunk on the exam day? We should, I feel"

"AFTER yeah. I could...
*pause*
I am verifying because someone had suggested the same but had actually meant before"

Arrogant Bastard.

"People like you don't change. You're still the same. You have the same eyes..
you were the naughty little puppy dog eyes...
only now you're the puppy dog eyes with pouty lips."

Words To Live By.

 "...Khana toh kutte bhi khaate hain...
Insaan bano..
Sharaab piyo..."

That's What He Said.

"I don't usually get this attracted to girls your age. You're something else."

You were something else too. Not necessarily in a good way.
You make my heart struggle to break out of the damn rib cage.
Not necessarily in a good way.
Ugh!

And one would think it's been too long since 'us'. Or at least, long enough. Why am I putting us in quotes? Ew.
Fuck You, Man!
 

!@#$%^&*

It's almost midnight and I sit in a very very dirty room wearing, what I call 'the first signs of winters ending', borrowed boxers and t-shirt. It's also a reminder of a long overdue leg-waxing appointment. But that's another story.

I write this not to make a point but to kill time. When you are five days into having deactivated your Facebook account, you realize that Facebook takes away a lot of your time, yes. However, the bigger realization is that you probably didn't need as much time in the first place. Especially, if you're like me. 

Ive never really been into Superheroes, per se. But they have this kind of novelty, you know? So it's always great to think that you're like some Superhero too; at least at some points in your life. And then life happens and reality strikes and you realize that you're no Superhero; just plain old Garfield.

And I'm Garfield.

And hence I don't need all this time off Facebook. I just want to eat and sleep.

And drink and smoke and dance and have sex.

But Garfield sex, you know?

I just have one problem with Facebook - The stalker-hood it is! I go out, I sneeze, I come back home and log in- there's a picture of me sneezing on my profile! Ugh. It was consuming my entire life! And telling me I know way too many people or have one dress too less or repetitive makeup or Bah! I don't know. It's frustrating. And over 2500 pictures of you tagged by other people just does it.

So ya. I'm off. 

Not for good, though. It's just a little break.

It's like an ex flame you can't ever get rid of for too long. Im just saying.

I can't believe how much I've typed already. And most of it doesn't even make sense. Like, it makes sense to me because I've written it. Completely original ideas. Wow! I think I got this smart dating. I think you should date people wayyyyyy out of your league. Preferably older. And then let them teach you a thing or two. And then you break up. Because they're out of your league, remember? But not a messy break up. Then you move on. Don't worry about dying along. Because, believe it or not, you are never fucking alone! EVER. Even when you might want to be.
I think I write better on my laptop than on paper. Haha. Imagine! This is my better. I'm no writer. I thought I was a while ago. But then I realized I write just like I talk. And then sometimes I write giving away more than what I may have desired. That's not really a sign of a great writer, now is it?

See! All this time at hand! So much to do! But I would much rather Garfield around and blog about absolutely nothing!

Speaking of blogging about absolutely nothing, my blog turned two on the 13th of this month. Haha. Two years of my unpremeditated blabber about 'sex, parties, alcohol and friends'. 

"Girls your age talk about love and feelings"

"I talk about love. I love sex, parties, alcohol and my friends!!"

And of course I couldn't care less. And I forgot all about it until yesterday. Because I know I'm not a writer no more. The bigger question, however, is that if I ever was?

Now I'm bored and I'm out of smokes.
I miss my brother.

Goodnight.

Sky.

"In this entire time since uve ignored me.. There have been fleeting thoughts.. But back then I thought someone like me would appeal to a person with a life as big urs. . I'm a simple person, remember?  

I travel ..

I actually thought...

It was all so stupid of me."

Sigh.

Happy Valentines, Y'all.

Fuck Valentines! Let's Get Drunk And Naked.

Signature Smell.

*slurring* "Can you tell I've had too much alcohol? Like, can you smell it of me?"

*matter of fact-ly* "Naahh... you always smell of a little smoke, a little alcohol, mixed with some random perfume, Didn't you know? That's like your.. signature smell. Don't worry. You're okay...!"

I almost laughed.

Almost. :|

Food For Thought.

Don't you just love food? Like, love it more than anything else?

Well, I don't mean all the time. I, for one, have phases with my food cravings. I would like to believe that I have a generous appetite, to say the least. But most of the friends I eat with may beg to differ. Nevertheless, hungry or not, food is spectacular. Magical, even. And healing, of course.

The smell of garlic and chilly as it makes that crackling sound in heated butter is bliss. Add to that a little flour, milk, oregano and chilly flakes and you have the perfect white sauce for a yum pasta. And mushrooms. And cheese. Oh! Cheese. It's milk's leap towards immortality. Is it just me or does it make the world around really happy and musical? Just like in the movies. It's nostalgic too; reminds me of chaotic Sunday mornings of about year 8 of my life when my mum had the time and will to make pizzas for me and my friends with little cubes of Amul cheese. Amul cheese and tomatoes and garlic and chicken chunks and different coloured peppers with some seasoning. I remember feeling fancy because we were the only people I knew who got the fancy peppers in red and yellow, apart from the regular green. Peppers, if eaten right, can be a delight in its own. Crunchy peppers of all colours, crunchier lettuce leaves, onions, smoked chicken and dollops of olive oil along with some white gram and creamy dressing; toss it together, add some white feta cheese with it and some lemon zest and feel good about life. And then they say, salads are boring. I loathe salad of any kind for the simple reason that they're too..errm..healthy. But I humbly make an exception here and there. The sight of bacon and it's glistening body wrapped around cheese is mouth watering. Then there are the charmingly wafer thin ham slices which make the otherwise mundane bread rather colourful for snacks of all kinds. I am a huge fan of sandwiches. Anything between bread somehow rises up in my edibility radar. I think the simple cucumber sandwiches for tea, though are prodigies of the British rule, are highly underrated. The buttered slices of uncooked bread slices with thin-sliced cucumbers between them..ah! Slightly toasted and slightly buttered are my favourite form of bread with hard boiled eggs.

The use of chicken stock is always a delightful addition. Stock brought to a boil with coriander, ginger and garlic topped with appropriated dashes of vinegar and soya sauce makes me want to spend all my cold winter nights consuming it. I have never particularly liked the ever-so-popular momos, though. They're flour balls with a little chicken in them. But the fiesty red dip with it.. now that's the stuff! Talking about 'the stuff', Indian herbs. spices and food habits in general take the heart away. Minus the burps and its cousins, of course. The cube of butter melting over a hot parantha makes me want to cry with joy. That, with pickled carrot and sourish yogurt; that's the breakfast of the hills here. Sigh. The chicken curry with its overdoses of garlic and garam masala is extra terrestrial in it's being as it is spicy and full of heat yet humbling and gentle. The Butter Chicken is elevated taste, to say the least. And the kababs and tikkas; each melt-in-the-mouth bite can make one ponder upon its hours' marination in asafoetida (heeng), curd, cream etc. The delicacies of the tandoor are a personal favourite, especially when they are served with 'salad' (pronounced 'sa-laaaad') that comprises round sliced onions and fresh tomatoes. Tomatoes with basil is a treat, isn't it? Tomatoes and basil steeped in extra virgin oil and lemon zest - a go-to curry. Another go-to for me is definitely mac and cheese. Of course, alfredo fettuccine/penne is the adult's mac and cheese. However, nothing beats pizza. Nothing!
Nothing but potato wedges dipped in mayonnaise. 

Sigh.

I think I'm going to have a food orgasm. And I've only just written all this down.

Rachel- "What would you give up, sex or food?"
Joey- "Food..No, Sex..Food..Sex..Food..Sex..OH GOD, I DONT KNOW, I WANT BOTH, I-I WANT GIRLS ON BREAD!"

- F.R.I.E.N.D.S

^Can totally empathize!

Don't you just love food? Like, love it more than anything else?

Sexual Innuendos.

When you meet someone after really long, there's always this little void that exists between both parties. The void grows stronger with time. 

The void becomes strongest with sexual history...

"Hey... long time... How you doing?"

"Oh! Hi. I've been okay... you? Got yourself a car, I heard. Congratulations!...

........................................................

........................................................

........................................................."

Amidst the awkward conversation among other things, my forsaken tattoo decides to peep out from under my sleeve:

-" You gotta tattoo? You were never a tattoo person back in the day!"

Back in the day was when I was 15 and he was about 20.

-"Yeah... things change, right?"
*awkward laugh*

-"Show mee??"

-"No.. Be satisfied with just this. I'm not giving away the whole thing"
*trying to sound/look smug*

-"Not the whole thing, eh? Still?"
*smirks*

- :|

-"Haha.. I'll see ya around, kid? Been a while! Gotta hit the gym now. Bye"

-"Yeah..."
*smiles*

It's going to be  some summer.

"Maybe you can be my friend foh-eh-vah"

Remember when we were uglier than what we are now and were gawky and didn't know what to do with our arms for the most part?
Remember your first day in school when I thought your surname was 'Aila' for some strange reason and showed you my cavity in my quest of making you feel comfortable?

Of course you do.
I do too.

School will always be special for more reasons than one and yes we had a blast when we were together. But who would have thought that you and I, of all the people, would land up in the same college?
Sharing our subjects, books, seats, coffee, rum, jokes, cigarettes, money, rides, dreams, aspirations... life! I think it's just strange that it took so fucking long for you and I to become 'us'. It's a shame, really!
But better late than never, right?

Of course we have our share of the boring.

The days we hardly talk. We just sit beside each other, smoke our lungs out, sometimes laugh at the Mithas uncle, correct grammar on fancy posters and contemplate our split-ends along with other sob stories. I like how we don't have any burning need to make conversation all the time.

I like how it's okay-to-be-quiet with us.

Of course we have our share of the boring; Boring, but never stagnant.

Oh! And the mood swings!
How there are days when I want to kill you (out of love, of course) for being too rude.
And then those when you want to strangle me for being too mean.
Friends do not want to do that. Friends should not want to do that.
We, however, are different. Cool-ly so.
(Mean and Rude are NOT different things, freak!). 

From serious anticipation about whether or not we'd have to sleep our way up to the top at the workplace to our little secret theories about all things on the planet; from my 'scripting' your messages to a certain somebody to you taking care of me in the college canteen; from midnight loo conversations to our very very very long walks; from finding meanings to new words in that huge ass dictionary to using the ever so loved theory of being the rule or the exception in every given scenario; I can't help but be thankful. For you.
And sorry. For the world.
Of course I can't express that.. since we're just awkward when we hug each other.
Except for birthdays, of course. That's the 'exception'.

With time, we'd drift apart. Also, our careers (if any) might take us to different geographical locations. Then, instead of a boob job from my first pay check, I will come and visit you wherever you are with that money, so that we can hug and be all awkward and maybe then, I can finally teach you to pout...

Crossing the road would never be the same without you.

"Cya at eight kal?"

One life to live

I hate keeping in touch.
It just doesn't come naturally to me. I am not someone who's socially awkward and it's not like I don't enjoy new company. I am (famously :P) called 'the social butterfly' by my people. However, keeping-in-touch with all sorts of people just isn't my thing.

What I hate even more?
When random people out of nowhere accuse me of not having kept in touch with them. Helloooo? If you were worthy of an iota of importance, I would have done the needful. The fact that I didn't, should be enough hint.

I don't have particular fondness for most people, anyway; and that doesn't always help.
Is it just me or is it slightly alarming how I hate so many things?

You know how you're different people to different people? Some people find you funny while the others think you don't talk as much; how you annoy some people and then there are those who adore you; you're the jumpy freak for some and the ever so mature lady to others....
I have different personalities for different people. Of late, that's been disturbing me. I want to be Love, Pain, Anger, Wrath, Bliss... I want to be what I embody; My emotions. My spirits.
I want to be me.
Only me and no one else but me.

Talk about utopia. Sigh.

Bob calls me 'wave'.
"You're a wave."
"Errr.. Like... I have my highs and lows?"
"Possibly, that too."
"And?"
"And that you're always moving to be different. When you're at point A, you think you want to be the person at point B instead. Only, when you reach B, it bores you and you strive for C, you know?"
I smiled.
Didn't nod.

There's no feeling more beautiful than oblivion.
Especially, if it's with respect to self.

You smell like sweet red plums and grilled chesse sandwiches.

I like how the sense of smell was/is a running theme for us since forever.

"I like it when I smell of you."
"I hate it that you don't smell of me anymore."
"Remember how you used to like smelling of me?"
"You know when you hug me like that, I smell your hair."


We have said this and so much more to each other so many times.
Things have changed. You have changed. I know I have too.
But still,
you smell like sweet red plums and grilled cheese sandwich.


Remember how 'The Wedding Planner' was our movie because we tripped so much on this dialogue?

It's 'Lohri' today.
It was 'Lohri' that day.
It's funny how not much has changed; except that I was rather pleased with myself today, anyway.

The winters are getting less chilly now. It was easily 19 degrees today! :P

We should hug a lot more often.
Leaves me smiling for a very very very long time :) :) :)

Ageless. Priceless.

"It sucks! 

You're too old for your age! 

WHY WON'T YOU ACT YOUR AGE???! aarrgghhh"

"Hariyali!! WHY WON'T YOU ACT YOURS???!!"

-Makes me feel new levels of cool each day. Don't go...  
P.S- I am NOT old for my age!!!