Tuesday, March 22, 2011

No one said it would be easy...no one said it would be this hard

Even though I might want this post to possess major undercurrents of an intellect so high and of maturity never seen before, that's not happening. The only thing that's on my mind right now is May. And with May comes University-Exam-Time. 


I sound like a nerd. I'm not a shallow person, really. Mostly, I'm not. However, most of my living years have been loyally devoted to the protection of a reputation and an image. Well, in my defence, the 'image protection' program has never been tough, so to speak, as nonchalance about all things important came rather naturally to me. But things look slightly different when you're about only a year away from 'making it' or at least being on a path leading to the same. Things look even more different (badly so) when the result of your first year in college isn't particularly brilliant, to say the least. Hence, serious ass kicking at the end of second year is mandatory. Yes, making up for lost time, undone deeds, attendance etc is a bitch!

I met this old friend two days back. He's become a different person now with his new job and the works. Then there are those I know who are at that crossroad in their lives where they cross the threshold of being on their own. I think growing up is war. It really is. Plus, there's the analysis of aptitude based on bookish details. Yes yes.. we all hate the 'system'; we could just set the 'system' on fire and then poke it all over with a fork. But, we are still part of the 'system'; the one that needs us to study till we've practically shat in our pants and then wipe that shit all over the answer scripts. 
These answer scripts, in turn, determine our position in class, society, life! It's not all bed of roses.
I feel a little lucky though that being a student of literature allows me slight liberty of making my personal opinions matter sometimes.
Point being, MustStudy.
A bigger point? Will.Study.

All this and more, only to reach that point in my cerebral setting where coming back home doesn't seem like an option.

"I'm young. I live in a house my father owns, in a bed my father bought. Nothing is mine..except my heart and my fears and my growing knowledge that not every road is gonna lead home anymore."

I miss Wonder Years.