Tuesday, December 28, 2010

All the things I know right now, If I only knew back then

The swelling is gone.
The pain remains. The bone right under the eye? That's the spot!

It's hard to function through the day without flashes of yesterday.
My phone's been off for most of it to avoid the calls.
I am dazed, still.
This shall pass.
It has to.

I put makeup today. I do it every time I need a 'pick me up'. Did NOT work.
Still dazed.
I haven't smiled in a while.

Shit! I just realized I haven't eaten anything! ...
...Ate. Not working.
Still dazed.

I think I will get back on Facebook. I breed on exaggerated, however fake, attention.
If people are going to hit me around anyway, I might as well enjoy my share of cheap thrills.
Yes. I am very very lame like that!
And very very pained right now.

It's embarrassing to talk about.
It's too hard to let out.
I am the strong one! Why the fuck is this so hard, man?!!!

It's crazy.
Next post is not going to be about this.
Next thought is not going to be about this.
No, I am not cutting my hair over this.
No, I am not going to 'drown my sorrows' in drinking ( I hate that phrase anyway!)

With a clear head, minus intoxications of any kind, I am getting over this.
Hell! I am over it.

I am back on Facebook.
That's a start?
Yes? No? No?
Okay :|

At least it doesn't show anymore;
doesn't show in the ugly shades of purple.

6 comments:

  1. I'm lamer actually. A guy put my face in a tree, giving me a swollen eyelid and a cut lip, and I stayed with him for three fucking years. Not saying it was all bad, but I know the feeling when you get hit. Irreversible that is.

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  2. Haha.. 'mirror images', much? Sigh.
    You shouldn't have stayed on, BY THE WAY.

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  3. No reason bigger than that, I loved him more than I loved myself. :)

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  4. not alone? why do we have to do this? i'm not wd the guy who hit me nemre...but i knw i miss him... shouldnt but i do.

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  5. I guess it must be soo much more harder when there're feelings involved.

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