Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Sex Face.

It's not possible.
No matter how much of a stud you are;
No matter how popular among friends and family and beyond you may be;
No matter how much of the world you may be ruling; it's just not possible:
You can't have a not-hideous sex face.

One would think that only a seemingly heartless woman with no feelings or respect whatsoever can think or say something like this. But it's true.  The Urban Dictionary  defines Sex Face as 'The stupid ass face you make leading to busting a nut'. It's exactly that - A Stupid Ass Face. Once one is over the frills and thrills of making out and sex, in general, does one realize that the sheer expression while at it is hilarious, to say the least. 
That one fine day when one probably booty calls not for the purposes of hormonal satisfaction particularly but because one just wants to experience the feel of one's new pair of denims being pulled off for cheap thrills and hence the focus on the action is not completely enthusiastic. It is then when you're struck by enlightenment about the glaring fact. And you'd think that something that's indicative of the pleasure quotient of the moment is going to be so much more interesting and/or interested looking. I get all the shut eyes and the cursing and the lip bites (?) and the curling toes, but the face on its own could be quite the buzz-kill.

It's a strange look encompassing everything from fear, disgust, repulsion, pain, agony.. basically, everything. Everything but lust. Or love. Or any of their versions.
I, for one, am appalled and probably slightly amused.
One laughs, as much as one thinks is appropriate, at a guy's sex face and then enlightenment strikes again; one then thinks of one's own possible sex face. Sigh.


I have been told that the blog contains more than necessary sexual content. I have never argued that notion with too much enthusiasm or effort anyway. Nevertheless, too much sex didn't kill anyone, now did it? Ooo. I think it did.
Anyway, I feel the need to mention my favourite IITian and the most condescending person I know of, here. He is a proud owner of an awesome but almost dying blogAlso, he thinks yours truly may be a sex addict- which is absolutely false! He is in Hong Kong at the moment. And sad. And alone. And sans any sex. 
And yet, I am the one who might be missing him a little bit. EWW.

P.S- Just for the record, The Sex Face post has not, in any possible way, been inspired by his beautiful face. True Story.


  1. I, for one, (or so says the guy) have an awesome sex-face! LOL :D

    Or maybe he is just being nice.. hmm :P

  2. Okay, this a li'l awkward, but funny. :D

  3. For the record, I did NOT think you were a sex addict per se, I pointing to it (sex) being brought up in these weird out of context scenarios on your blog, which mind you, is TRUE!

    And in-spite of having phrases like 'most condescending person you know' and 'alone and sexless in Hong Kong' very conspicuously thrown around, the last paragraph did make me smile. :)

  4. Reminded me of the Russel Peters Show...The Sex Face, The Cum Face..... :)

  5. I don't have a weird sex-face. :|
    I'm SURE.

    Oh but all the chicks do. :D
    But I like the sex-face they have. :S

  6. @Kay- Bola toh! Check your comments. And mine :)

    @She- Of course he's just being nice. Tch tch.

    @Ananya- :D

  7. @Bhatnagar- Jaaast say you love me :P

    @Tangerine- Yeah? Must check it out. :)

    @Bzapbunny- You're sure, eh? Are You? ARE YOU? Are you, reallyy?

  8. So I'm back.
    So I'm reading.
    So I jaaast can't get enough of you! :p

  9. Okay I have a confession. And this IS the post where it fits in: So whenever I meet a man/guy I who I'm interested in (and mind you it's always lust at first sight for me, questions about how nice or not he is only comes after I've tested the waters...What! Sex is important, can't risk finding they are bad in bed after having been with them for long enough for exit to be difficult)...anyway so, everytime I check out a guy, I actually imagine what his sex-face would be like. If I think I can live with it, then I go for it.

  10. Next time, just make him have realllyyy cold ice cream. That would make imagination easier.
    Truth :P

  11. Fo'shure.

    Missy, we need more women like you.