Friday, March 2, 2012


People grow up. They change. It's rather funny. You go through each day in all its monotony, cursing it for being so mundane. You go through each day just as the previous one; acknowledging no change whatsoever. And then you look back. And it hits you that you've come a long way since u started out. It's a strange thing, change. For better or for worse, we never know what is changing or why. Then one day you look back trying to figure out how you got here. And it hits you that you've lived all this time, consciously or otherwise, trying to escape your past in some way or the other.
Have you succeeded? 

People. It's always been about people with me. Institutes, places, vacations, time in my life; it's all been extremely people-specific for me. I've always maintained how I'm not deserving of most of the love, adulation and popularity that people bestow on me ever so generously. In fact, I'm not particularly proud of my treatment of a lottttt of people in my past. I call it my past specifically because I'd like to believe that I've evolved a little and am not mean to people unless I truly believe that they deserve it.
Or when I don't like their face.
But that's the thing about people. Or at least about most of the people I know. They're too nice.
They love too much.
Another thing about these people I talk about, they pop up from time to time. With the same amount of love and adulation in their hearts. Regardless of how I may have treated them once upon a time. Regardless of my behaviour with them that I may not be particularly proud of. And what that does to my heart, you wonder? It unsettles it. It makes me restless. Anxious, even.

I can't focus now.
Who are these weird people man?
Why can't they just hate me like normal people would do?
Why can't they stop pretending that we've shared some great fun times in the past?
Because, we didn't. We never have!



  1. That's lucky.
    I don't know how many people would actually love to be in your place when they read this!
    However it always makes sense not to ask questions to all the good things in life.
    It's only a matter of time and the happiness passes away.

    1. What do you know? I'm an ungratfeul bitch, apparently.

  2. So completely like you to crib about all the good things that you have without effort that others might want to kill for. You amuse me. Lol.