Friday, July 16, 2010

But my breath fogged up the glass And so i drew a new face and laughed..

It was a regular Sunday evening and i was sitting around the house doing nothing when it started to pour. Ah. The rains. There's something about them that makes me feel things that i have been almost completely oblivious to, consciously and otherwise. From emotions of love to hatred to agony to lust to greed to arrogance..the rains get me all these and so much more.

Even as a kid, nothing fascinated me more than the rains. I would run out of the house at the slightest of pours to be a part of, what i liked to call, a celebration of sorts. Nothing else came even remotely close to being as freeing. It was at that moment when i felt like i belonged somewhere. When i felt like i owned someplace. When i feared no one, not even those ugly dogs who would bully the fuck out of me on other days. It's been THAT empowering!
Growing up, rains graduated from being about dancing in my animated underpants and became about walking in the rain, hand in hand with that boy who had enough of me to break my heart. It's in the rains that i have discovered levels of intimacy and closeness that no amounts of physical contact can induce. It's sexual. The kind that leaves you craving more. The kind that connects at more levels than one.
Every smoke ring i manage, while the waters pour in the background with ever so much conceit, seems to be saying something. Its influence and power is unbelievable.

Or is it just me? Could be. I genuinely believe that it's the only thing that almost brings about the little spiritual side that i have. It's harsh yet so calming. It washes one and all with every pour.
It's quiet after it rains. It becomes like it's my own place; Own yet shared. It's a beautiful feeling. More than i can ever put to words.No bustling of the humdrum life; purity, sanctity, chastity and vigour.
Blissful. Peaceful.

Charlie Chaplin once famously said, ""I Love to walk in rain because no body can see me crying then". Irony, much? So much for being one of the funniest men in the history of entertainment. Am no unfortunate person, on the wrong side of fifty, whose life didn't work out. And no. There's hardly any reason for me to be thinking this way. However, sadly enough, I do find a nice ring to it...

<3 Rains <3

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