There are no claims of being a Saint, here. The Universe knows I have slipped and flawed a lot more often than I should be allowed to. However, if there's one thing that I was never going to be okay with was infidelity. The line that divides 'promiscuity' and 'infidelity' maybe thin, alright; but it still exists. The choice of meaningless physical intimacy without emotional vulnerability is one thing, cheating in a committed relationship is quite another. To each their own, yes but ethical grounds should never be marginalized to a level too low.
So we've gotten back to talking since a few days now; Ro and I. It's all new and nice; the butterflies in the tummy are a little limited since we've been through this a few years back. There are some changes, obviously, between then and now. Both of us have matured, perceptions have changed, we want different things now, food habits, wardrobe...relationship status.
Ya. SO he has a girlfriend now. 'In a relationship' since a year and going strong.
It isn't a not known fact, that for him to have lasted this long with any girl is a huge deal and I am very happy for him. I really am. Only, I am not too sure about his sudden change of affiliations towards me. The fact that I know the girl-in-question in person, doesn't make matters easier, either. The fact that he keeps passing most of my little 'tests' that I sneakily slip in every now and then, is also not cool, given the scenario.
To wash my hands off it, I can very conveniently say that I am not the one bound by a relationship and hence I am not at fault. But that would be a lie.
Doesn't it make me equally guilty if I go ahead with things, well aware of the facts just stated?
I think it does.
I know it does.
In my defense, in all the conversations and time spending over the last few days I have consciously brought up questions and general things about ze girlfriend which, very sneakingly, he's avoided, changed topic, same ol' same ol'..
Predictability bores me the most! Yawn.
After listening to some eccentric (read: inappropriate) plans by him on his idea of spending the weekend with me, I settled for a movie+dinner 'outing' and not 'date' this Saturday. I figured that being friends I am supposed to spend friendly time with my friends and that is exactly what we're gonna do-
Watch movie, throw pop corn at each other, talk, eat food, come back.
It's as simple.
It's not like it can't happen; I am going to make it happen for nothing else but for the fact that infidelity is unacceptable.
Always was. Always will be.