Friday, April 6, 2012

Sym-Pathetic.

Sympathy for you? Never. Sympathy is for wusses.
You're a stud and all.
You deserve love and all.

You've been an influence on me, yes.
A strong one, yes. A bad one, yes.
You of course saw it as a good deed throughout.
Influencing me was your charity.
And charity does begin at home; or so I've been told.
It's all way back in the past now; or so I've been told.
Past, recent past, present, near future, distant future, future...whatever.
A happy ending.
It's a shame, really.
How can two people who are this bound by history and pain not get one.
They at least deserve an ending.. happy or sad. But no end, here.
It goes on. Monotonously and uncomprehendingly.
Could it be because we have seen each other through a lot?
I, for one, have seen your faith and beliefs turn into dust after 9 drinks too many. 
You, for one, have seen mine collapse much sooner.
You're extremely accepting of my long overdue waxing appointments.
Like I am of your lack of articulation and participation. 
But does that alone, among some other things, give you the right to expect?
The right to merge the lines of non familial relationships with me?
The right to call us something that we aren't. We aren't for a long long time now.
You know it just as much as I do. 
It's all way back in the past now; or so I've been told.
Past, recent past, present, near future, distant future, future...whatever.

I don't even know where I'm going with this. 
It's not like I'm writing here the things I would tell you someday.
I don't even know what to tell you. Or me. Or us.
After seven years and a hell lot of people later, how is it that we share this uneasy little bond-thing?
It's unfair. Even you are.
Am I supposed to be sympathetic?

Sympathy for you? Never. Sympathy is for wusses.
You're a stud and all.
You deserve love and all.


4 comments:

  1. It's so amazing how you put a little bit of yourself into your writing. I envy that. I feel like I know you.

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  2. wow :o this was amazing! the first lines are my favourite. :)

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  3. I never know what to say after I read your posts. You never know what to say to him. Maybe there is nothing to say. Maybe just a bitter-sweet taste in the mouth.

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