Sudden Realization # 2

According to Best Friend's budgeting skills, I need a minimum of 30 grand in the month of June to fulfill all my basic shopping requirements. Sigh.

Mum should settle for 15 at least.

The Girl With The Sports Shoes.

I once met a girl
In this crazy ass world
Who was brighter than sunshine
And who was looking for a sign
A sign of true love she looked for
She knew she'd find it for sure
But that's not the reason for this note
And here's hoping she finds her love boat
The one thing I'd never forget she told me
Because it was so fascinating to be
Is that she loved wearing shoes at all times
With them she could fight all crimes
When things would go wrong, as they will
When life would be at a pathetic standstill
She would run.. run away to glory
Not look back and never be sorry
And to run she'd need her sports shoes
Too go wherever she would choose
In all her adventures her feet would be protected
And everything would be just as she expected.

Ze Shoes.

I don't think she'd even remember telling me any of this this. But you know? How somethings just stay with you for no good reason.
"Shoes are important. Kuchh ganda hua toh kahin pe bhi bhaag sakte ho. You won't slip if you have the right shoes on"

"Hello... I love you... Won't you tell me your name?"

Affected. That's the word.

How often does one meet someone who leaves one so affected? 

It makes me mad. A mere three and a half hours.. four tops! Am I really that gullible? That impressionable? But I am losing control. It's like he has captured every inch of my thoughts - or at least, most of my thoughts. The way he just looked me in the eye and spoke every so smoothly, like a muslin cloth running between fingers. In a baritone like no other he expressed everything so matter of fact-ly. Things you're not supposed to say... especially to a person you've just met. But he did. And he didn't need no intoxication for that. It was all him. And me, you ask? I just sat there alternating from unease, discomfort, shyness and pure awe. He was something else. He is something else. And he is not even an acquaintance. And he never could be a friend. Why is this happening? And to think that he's gone on living his life all the same without probably a single thought about me! It's frustrating. More so, because it's not sexual. I just need  him to look me in the eye and to talk to me every day for the rest of my life, I think. Or better still, just hear him talk while I bat my eyelids and sheepishly draw his attention to my rather endowed cleavage. BUT NONE OF THAT IS HAPPENING!

I'm never seeing him again. And Facebook is an especial failure when it comes to 'finding a friend' based solely on his first name.

So Fuckin' Affected!

Get.Out.Of.My.Head.Lover.

Get-Over-Yourself Guy.

" PPS: I must mention in passing. My days here have been enlivened with the spirited presence of Priyam who for all practical purposes is the Coolest person in class. She drips awesome and yes I will miss her when she goes to that wannabe heaven they call Xaviers(please start playing time of your life by green day). Also I will sorely miss someone reminding me that I need to get over myself and also wondering whether I have friends. You and your Joie de vivre will be missed WOMAN! Now you have maximum coverage in this short note. Happy?"

Even the annoying ones make me smile sometimes.

Lots!

Qba. Q-bad?

"Q is Qomplicated only!"

"K is Komplicated too!"

Toast.

I feel especially hot today. Not the kind where I burn up given the fucking Delhi weather but the kind where I really believe I must get some because 'whoaaa!! what a hottie I am!'.

Either way, I'm toast.

It's been a while since I felt this way. Just generally most days have been the kind where you just want to mope around in tiny denim shorts and over sized t-shirts. And probably eat toast. I could easily credit it to all the approaching exams and my general disregard for each one of them. I wish I get through Bombay though. And all the people I like follow me there. Any help on accommodations would help. But it's not like I'm getting through. Of course, there are the Universities exams; which they should just sack given the general disinterest among one and all. But I don't make the rules. If only, I did. 

I am all cynical about everything. At least for the coming two months. I have actually completely thrown my idea of sexing my way to the top. I don't think it'll work out like it does in my head. Also, I don't think I'm winning a lottery; at least not any time soon. I still know I'd have my own nice house though. Again, not any time soon. But today isn't about complaining. 

Today is about feeling hot. And acknowledging your huge lips!

Today is about not giving a fuck.

Today is about being a couch potato.

Today is about harmless flirting with cuties.

Today is about potentially getting laid.

Today is about feeling hot...

like a yummy buttered warm toast.

Toast.

Such a cute word, that!

Vam Bam.

"You wanna get drunk on the exam day? We should, I feel"

"AFTER yeah. I could...
*pause*
I am verifying because someone had suggested the same but had actually meant before"

Arrogant Bastard.

"People like you don't change. You're still the same. You have the same eyes..
you were the naughty little puppy dog eyes...
only now you're the puppy dog eyes with pouty lips."

Secret Lovers.

Eyes light up when you look at them

It needs will power to keep your hands off them

You can't be all over each other

You can tell your people are looking at you.

You'd talk through the night anticipating the next day's meeting

But you can only go as far as mild brushing of the elbows

You can't even sit too close

You can tell  your people are looking at you.

But you know what you feel and it's as true as true gets

There's such little truth in the world that you know one when you see one

So you take days off every now and then, to get away 

You know? 'Cause you can tell your people are looking at you

And then  it's just you and them and everyone aside

You pretend to be all grown up and do all that you can't among others

It's your special time and you don't give a fuck if they put the spotlight on you

Because you can tell that none of your people are looking at you

Because they can't no more

It's your time to shine

And then you realize

That maybe

It's no great love until it's truly truly precious

And that

Perhaps

It's not truly precious until it's a well kept secret.