I found it hard, it's hard to find. Oh well, whatever, never mind...

This entire 'game', as it were, was so much more easier only a few years back.


Things were easier to end. They didn't matter as much.
If the guy called it quits; she would cry, friends would help, he would 'become' a bastard.
If the girl called it quits; he would abuse, friends would help, she would 'become' a slut.
It really was as simple.


Today, however, things are not the same. There'e so much emotional effort and taxing politics that goes into it.  One's never quite there. It's strange but true. One's either trying and getting into a relationship or getting out of one. The 'in a relationship' seldom occurs. Call me cynical, if you will, but maybe it's a the generation and it's big baggage full of a hell lot of crap that smells of commitment issues. But honestly, it's like nothing is permanent. I hardly know happy 'parents', you know? But then is that really a bad thing?? Nothing is permanent; not even the happiness in other people's lives. How ever bitchy/nasty, it isn't completely false.


I really have very vague memories of  the last time I was 'going out'. Ah! The lousiness of the term makes me nauseous. Anyway, when exactly do you start to 'go out'? When exactly are you friends enough to be in a monogamous relationship? When exactly do you start sharing too good a friendship and hence rule out the possibility? 
Vague memories. Forgotten reminiscence. 


The idea of 'The One' is obviously a freaking utopia. But even on realistic benchmarks, the build up is hard at the moment. There's no right landing.
There's Mr.Right and Mr.Right Now.
The former is not in sight. It makes you wonder, hence, if the latter is worth it at all?


Like Trishi put it just right in one of our million moments of enlightenment: 
'Either you are in a relationship since d past 10,000 years.. Or u are never getting into one !! Universal Truth!'


Maybe the rules are changing. Also, the priorities. 
More importantly, the needs.
Most importantly, the realities!

Song of the moment : Smells Like Teen Spirit- Nirvana.
No. It has nothing to do with the post.

Day 06 - A letter to someone who has hurt you.

Hmm.

I don't do those anymore.They're so much more painful than what you feel when you're actually hurting.

Nevertheless, I think I would just like to say that I tried to think of a pretty and poetic way to say 'fuck you'; but I couldn't. 

So, Fuck You!

That'd be all.

Thank You!

P.S- I think the fact that you should burn in hell is a given, so I don't need to mention it here.

You smell like sweet red plums and grilled chesse sandwiches.

I like how the sense of smell was/is a running theme for us since forever.

"I like it when I smell of you."
"I hate it that you don't smell of me anymore."
"Remember how you used to like smelling of me?"
"You know when you hug me like that, I smell your hair."


We have said this and so much more to each other so many times.
Things have changed. You have changed. I know I have too.
But still,
you smell like sweet red plums and grilled cheese sandwich.


Remember how 'The Wedding Planner' was our movie because we tripped so much on this dialogue?

It's 'Lohri' today.
It was 'Lohri' that day.
It's funny how not much has changed; except that I was rather pleased with myself today, anyway.

The winters are getting less chilly now. It was easily 19 degrees today! :P

We should hug a lot more often.
Leaves me smiling for a very very very long time :) :) :)

I do not PMS

I just have this weird feeling of wanting to type in Italics. Italics is underrated, isn't it? It makes the world so pretty. Oh! And cursive handwriting in italics. Bliss.


I've always had a thing for good handwriting. It is such a turn on. Would you rather have someone with good handwriting tell you that he likes you simply or 

Let us, for the purposes of amusement, keep aside the sheer cheesiness of what is written. But the handwriting? How can anyone assume that they would ever be taken seriously if what they wanted to put across was written in that handwriting. Anyway, you know what I am fearing the most right now? 

That the guy who wrote this was to ever read my blog. He isn't too much of a reader, though. And we're 'almost friends' so it could also be a joke. 

Only, it's not.

Oh! Just for the record, it is not by a guy who has just hit puberty. A grown male of about 20years of existence behind him is the creator of this. 

Yes. I don't think it's funny either.

Anyway, my tattoo thing is happening, by all means, by the 20th of this month. I see how my policy, as it were, of 'let's get this over with' has managed to get me a looong looong way since the time of my first breath. I might be dead by then though, you know? Because of anticipating the pain.

Oh. And I was told yesterday that I PMS.  I do not!

I, most definitely, do not.

I almost took offence.

Also, my period for this month is OvUrrrrrrrrrr. I usually do not celebrate the event. But this time it was particularly bad and painful. SO ya.

Speaking of  OvUrrrrrrrrrr, my University Exams finish tomorrow. Needless to say, I am not prepared. In my defense, being a literature student makes me, by default, look down upon the likes of History and Sociology (my credit courses). For someone who did not particularly sweat it over the main papers, it would be a shame if I were to pay any attention to the subsidiary papers. So after the damn paper, we're going to celebrate at this super dingy 'rest-o-bar' place near where I stay. I am soo excited. It is our new 'discovery', as it were. 

Dingy, cheap booze, great food! It is a broke's paradise for a day out, if you ask me. If only they had a smoking zone. Sigh.

The day a girl can smoke on the streets of Delhi without everyone (not only looking but dropping their work and) staring at her, I would know the society has evolved; resolving prejudices. Plus it would make me really really happy. The other night, I made Jaya hold a lit cigarette in his hand while I smoked the one in mine, just to reduce the volumes of the staring as we smoked at night in a shady park. It only struck me later that 'girl-smoking-with-a-guy-at-night' doesn't exactly add up to 'ideal' either.

I am down with a cold too. This might be a problem because I see my drinking plans, in the shady place tomorrow, stand slightly sabotaged, if the condition persists. Being born to doctor parents, your health is least priority, contrary to popular belief. Hence, I am popping some pills that catch my eye. 

Medically Prescriptive? Unsure.

But I don't think it's fun any other way.

I am guessing this post has gone way ahead as compared to the word limit of my other posts. Hence, I shall conclude saying that after exams I am cooking a lot and drinking a lot.

Also, shopping till I am dropping.. almost!

That's the plan.

P.S- Sometimes I think 'spooning' is overrated. Yet, sometimes it's not. Mostly it is, though.

Okay. Bye.

Day 05 - A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.

Goa.
January, 2010.

I really haven't been to too many places.
I hate travelling. I don't see the point!
But Goa was something.
Five days. Girlfriends. Vodka. Smokes ( I feel the need to mention Godang Garam here). Music. Beach. Chicken. Dance. AWESOME!!
Maybe we should go end of year, Peeeeto? Sunburn?

Also, I am over Vodka for a while now. Rum and Coke is my new poison.

Anyway, Delhi is the shit! I love Delhi and everything about it.
The people, the places, the food... oh! The Food!!
Everyone should just come to Delhi and be here forever.
But I have to have to-have  to-have to go to Mumbai. Soon.
And Pune.
And Leh-Ladakh.

Oh! The picture is at Colva Beach, Goa. And that distant, tiny person is me.
Being tall is overrated, man!

Day 04 - A habit that you wish you didn't have?

Procrastination.

If procrastination had an ambassador, I would be very very rich by now.

It's unreal. I just keep putting off things and do them only when absolutely necessary; sometimes not even then. It isn't cool. Especially if one of your other vices is that of being fickle-minded. Lack of focus and procrastination is fatal. FATAL!

I am trying to get to study.
Since the fucking morning! It is 6.40pm right now!
An exam tomorrow afternoon.
Fun
^ And this is just ONE instance of it. It's not even a habit, per se; some people may even call it a lifestyle.

A habit that I wish I didn't have? Procrastination. Definitely.

Haircuts and Other Cravings.

Pearls of Wisdom :

• When you go to get your hair cut really short and come back home with the feeling that it is not short enough from the back, cutting it yourself is not the best call. Ya. So it took me a very long time but I have managed to even it out now. Almost, anyway. A mother who is not supporting of your actions and is all "I will not even it out- take responsibility for your actions" isn't exactly a ray of hope.
• When you are faced with the evil (read: Examinations!), you must, consciously, avoid eating. You end up realizing that not only have you not studied jack-shit for the exam, you have also ended up eating (and subsequently looking) like a pig. Really.
• When you are a self-proclaimed chocolate and milk hater and you suddenly find these urges in your body that crave for chocolate cake or Oreo shake, you know food is all you're thinking about; Doomsday. Pig! Pig!
• When you realize that the bag you're using for the past two weeks was given to you by someone who hit you and you continue to use it out of sheer laziness, you must know that there isn't an ounce of dignity or integrity that can be found in you.
• When you continue to believe Bob after the one million and one times you've been let down, you are possessed.
• When you plan parties and look forward to all things beautiful that're going to happen post the damn exams, you realize how much importance you attach to them.
• When you get sick to your stomach because you're trying so hard to make conversation with someone that you think matters, words don't flow.
• When you just can't get your best friend to meet you, your trying over and over won't help. In all probability, she is over you, anyway! Sigh. YES! I AM TALKING TO YOU@
• When your toes hurt three days into the new year, your resolution to not wear high heels this New year's eve is going to fail.
• When you know that the major reason behind your life sucking a few years back was math, it's true. I have never encountered anything more depressing or taxing. I am just glad it's out of my life for a little over two years,now.
• When you paint your nails green the night before the exam, the examiner might not be too appreciative of it.
• When you think it might be funny to tell your otherwise-jolly-mum "How hard can it be? You did it! Hahahaha", the humor might not be reciprocated. At all.
• When you're gonnnneeeeeee... Ya! I was just trying to stick to the "when you" theme I got going on here. Also, you must never feel guilty of the fact that songs by Avril Lavigne still make sense to you and Britney Spears was/is Goddess type of person.. It's Britney Bitch! :P

,,,

You know how there are some things that no one tells you but you learn anyway?